All I can say is, her body takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’. Sarah Burge, better known among British plastic surgery circles as The Human Barbie, has joined a rather exclusive century club. In fact, I’m not sure there are any other members in this one. The 51-year-old woman has had more than 100 plastic surgery procedures in her lifetime, easily earning her the world record for most ever. Yet, by her own admission, this isn’t enough for her. To borrow from a famous actor currently of ill repute, when it comes to plastic surgery, Sarah Burge’s response is a definitive, “I’ll be back.”
If you think Sarah and her Human Barbie nickname sound familiar, then you must be a fairly regular reader of my blog, since she has been a frequent topic of conversation over the past few months. Yes, while Sheyla Hershey lies in a coma over post-breast implant removal depression, I have needed a new muse. And Sarah Burge just happened to come along at the right time. Just last week, I wrote about the plastic surgery lottery party she sponsored. Earlier posts have described her life as a plastic surgery addicted, sexually depraved madam who organizes exotic sex parties all around the world.
Yes, this woman clearly has a few screws loose upstairs, but that’s why we love her. It’s so much more fun to rip on mentally unstable plastic surgery addicts who are certifiably off their rocker than your average soccer mom who isn’t happy with her body after pushing out two or three kids.
So let’s dig into Sarah Burge just one more time. In this installment, we’ll discuss her insatiable desire for more plastic surgery despite the fact that she doesn’t appear to have anything real left to augment. After more than 100 procedures, she’s about as close to 100% fake as you can get. But why stop here? May as well redo areas that were originally done decades ago. After all, it doesn’t cost her anything to go under the knife (more on that in a minute).
A Burning Desire for Plastic Surgery at a Young Age
According to Burge, “I can’t remember a time I didn’t want surgery.” Her first plastic surgery procedure was performed at the age of seven. She got otoplasty to fix a protruding ear. I guess if you are going to set an unbreakable world record for most plastic surgery procedures, you may as well start young.
But after that, she took a few years off – 20 to be exact. At the age of 27, Burge got liposuction under her jaw line to remove a double chin. I guess she was a porker in her early days. Shortly following this procedure, she had an experience which changed her relationship with plastic surgery forever (her own words, not mine).
A domestic violence incident left her battered and broken all over – broken cheekbone, jaw, eye socket, and teeth. The beating left her disfigured and deformed. Her ego had deflated like a ruptured breast implant. After spending six years wallowing in the dark, she grabbed her life by the balls and unleashed the monster that would soon become The Human Barbie.
$815,000 Worth of Plastic Surgery for the Bargain Price of FREE
In her quest to look normal again, Burge went to beauty school and opened a plastic surgery consultation service. It was at this time that she hatched a rather diabolical and most certainly unethical business proposition. “I visited the best plastic surgeons I could find,” Burge said. “If they could make me look the way I wanted to look then I would refer all my clients to them. They agreed and I haven’t paid a penny for my surgery since.”
So to recap this shady deal – in exchange for free plastic surgery, the Human Barbie would just funnel unsuspecting women into the office of the plastic surgeons willing to play her game. I’m not sure who got the better deal. It would take a lot of patients to equal the nearly $815,000 worth of procedures she’s had over the years. And since she’s still ready for more, there’s no telling how much these doctors will end up giving her for free before it’s all said and done.
She spent her first 30 or so freebee procedures fixing her mangled face. These included:
“After that, I got a bit carried away,” she said. “I would have surgery to maintain the results I’d already achieved or just to try out all the latest techniques and procedures.” Sounds a bit excessive, and painful, if you ask me. That’s like saying you’re going to eat a 24 oz. porterhouse steak 20 minutes after finishing the surf and turf special just to try out the latest marinades they’re using. Why not? It’s free.
According to Burge, “I’ve never regretted any of the surgery. I’ve never been turned down by a surgeon because they know it would be bad for their business.” You don’t say. If they turned her down, she would just refer all her clients to the next sleazy surgeon willing to whore himself out for some extra business. I’m sure it never crossed their minds to tell her no.
She did admit that 1 out of her 100 procedures caused her some pain. After she got buttock implants, she couldn’t sit down for a week. The price some people pay for a badonkadonk.
Yet, she’s the first one to admit that she’s a “nutter and an addict.” On the subject of future plastic surgery, she vows never to stop “until they hammer the last nail into my coffin.” Not that being aware of your severe psychological issues makes them OK. But at least she’s not delusional about the fact that she’s a fruit cake.
If you live in the Denver, Colorado area and want to take a shot at the world record, please contact Grossman Plastic Surgery today to schedule your initial consultation. But better get started soon, because you’re a bit behind the 8-ball and the Human Barbie doesn’t seem to be showing any signs of slowing down.