We’ve all dreamt of winning the lottery at some point in our lives. Even if it is just in a casual conversation with friends that seeks to elicit everyone’s answer to the classic question, “What would you do if you won the lottery?” The concept of the lottery is so appealing in our culture that it has even spread into areas such as sports. The NBA draft lottery probably enjoys better viewership than some of the early round playoff games, largely because everyone wants to know which down-in-the-dumps franchise is going to hit the jackpot and land an iconic super star that will reverse its poor fortunes.
Recently, one crazed British plastic surgery junkie took the concept a bit too far and organized a plastic surgery lottery party at a club in London. The event, titled “My Big Fat Plastic Surgery Prize Draw Party,” drew heavy criticism from plastic surgeons and women’s groups throughout England, but still managed to pack in a solid crowd due to the fact that there are a ton of Brits who will do just about anything for their plastic surgery fix.
Entry to the event cost about $40, and everyone in attendance was entered into a draw for a grand prize consisting of $6,500 worth of plastic surgery (winner gets to pick her dream procedure). Second prize was a series of BOTOX treatments, and there were several other smaller prizes including pole dancing lessons (more on this in a minute).
The event was hosted by Sarah Burge, who is known throughout Britain as the Human Barbie. She earned this nickname by plunging into the world of plastic surgery at an early age. By the time she reached the age of 50, she had spent more than $750,000 on plastic surgery and now looks much more like a children’s doll than a real person. Well, that’s not entirely true. While she certainly looks more fake than real, she also has a cheap hooker vibe is not done justice by her preferred nickname (again, more on this later). Our happy hooker hostess is the scary blonde woman in the picture below:
And the Winner Is…
Sarah Towle was the big winner at the first ever plastic surgery lottery party. This young booze hound is the proud owner of a $6,500 plastic surgery voucher. It is uncertain whether she will cash it in, or what procedures she would choose to undergo if she decides to take advantage of her winning lottery ticket. But it seems like she’d benefit more from some charm school classes than a few nips and tucks. She throws off a serious trailer trash vibe slugging champagne out of the bottle in her cocktail dress.
Party’s Host is a Sexually Depraved Whore
That’s right. Sarah Burge, aka the Human Barbie, is not your average plastic surgery junkie. She’s a bit of a freak. When she is not prancing around town showing off the results of her latest plastic surgery fix, the Human Barbie moonlights under the alias Madame Pink, a sex party organizer and high class whore. Her website reveals some of the sordid details of her sexual liberation after growing up in a repressive Catholic school environment. It is worth giving it a quick read, just for entertainment value. Here’s a sample:
“30 years on…she’s been stripped and stroked and laid down bare, She’s chained, and been chained. She’s exercised many a career, and been everybody’s baby!!”
One of these “many careers” has been rather lucrative. Madame Pink charges $750 an hour and will be “whatever you want me to be,” satisfaction guaranteed. Yes, she is a rather pricey whore, especially for her age and lack of real body parts. But if you want to go for a roll in the hay with a middle aged professional fornicator who charges more money an hour than some people make in an entire pay check, Madame Pink is your woman.
If you prefer, you can just pony up $1,000 to attend one of her many exotic sex parties held around the world. Some past destinations include London, Spain, Thailand, and Italy. For the price of admission, you get to spend an evening with a bunch of depraved orgy people who are willing to have sex with just about anything that moves. I’m picturing a scene similar to the fornicating zombies in season 2 of True Blood, only the location is probably a little more upscale and exotic than backwoods Louisiana.
Which brings us back full circle to one of our consolation prizes at the plastic surgery lottery party. Does it really come as a surprise that a hooker/orgy goer/sex party host like the Human Barbie would offer pole dancing lessons as a prize? I wonder if she is the teacher, imparting her decades of stripper knowledge on some young, impressionable Brit, or whether she farms out this task to one of her hordes of sex party whores. Regardless, it should certainly prove to be a once in a lifetime opportunity. I’m just not sure whether it would leave you rolling on the floor laughing or waking up in a cold sweat with pole dancing nightmares.