Those crazy Jews are at it again. Of course, I can make this statement because I am one of those crazy Jews. Generally, the unwritten rule about making fun of a group of people is that it is acceptable to rip on your own. Just don’t take a shot at another group because if it is taken the wrong way, you may be crucified as a bigot.
Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a Jewish plastic surgeon in Miami, played by those rules. Unfortunately, the tight wads at the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS) didn’t get the memo that having some fun at the expense of your own culture shouldn’t be viewed as an affront to the profession. Now he may face some serious consequences for a video that was intended to be light-hearted, comical, and increase his exposure. It appears he accomplished these goals a little too successfully for the ASPS brass.
The “Jewcan Sam” Video
Recently, Dr. Salzhauer commissioned a Jewish pop/punk band called The Groggers to write a song called “Jewcan Sam (A Nose Job Love Song)” and shoot a video in support of the song. The song is about a Jewish high school student with a big schnoz who undergoes rhinoplasty in order to capture the heart of the shiksa girl of his dreams. He is driven to this act of self-mutilation after she tells him she only dates guys with cute upturned noses, not guys “with a beak that looks like Jewcan Sam.”
If you didn’t get the Jewcan Sam reference, you probably spent your entire childhood in a cave and were denied access to Fruit Loops. But just to be safe, the girl holds up a picture of the iconic Toucan Sam character in the video.
Of course, I expect that most of you did not get the Jew reference in the band’s name (Google “Grogger” if you are curious).
But I digress. Back to the video…
Ultimately, our protagonist (his name is Doug) lets his little man call the shots and comes running to none other than Dr. Salzhauer to save the day (or at least to save Doug’s sex life). To Doug’s dismay, the girl still rejects him after his nose job because she only dates football players.
But there is a silver lining – a sexy young shiksa teacher likes Doug’s new look and gives him her number (clearly something that could get her fired in the real world of teaching). So it looks like Dr. Salzhauer was able to prevent Doug from reaching college as a virgin after all. And he’ll have the experience that comes along with getting his world rocked by an older woman.
I highly urge you to watch the video. It is definitely well-done for what it is, and it is mildly entertaining. Of all the plastic surgery-related videos I’ve seen, this one ranks as one of the better ones.
The Ensuing Scandal
Dr. Salzhauer’s brazen comedic take on teenagers, body image, and self esteem has caused a serious stink with the ASPS, and they seem intent on taking him down. The ASPS released a statement saying it has “initiated an investigation under its Code of Ethics which clearly requires ASPS members to uphold the dignity and honor of the medical profession.”
I’m sorry. I didn’t realize there was any dignity in giving people fake breasts, fake noses, or other fake body parts. Plastic surgeons are some of the most highly skilled surgeons out there, yet instead of using these talents to save lives, they feed off the insecurities of their patients and rake in massive fees in the process. Dignity? Let’s be honest about the industry we are talking about here.
Apparently, Dr. Salzhauer didn’t appreciate the ASPS starting somewhat of a modern-day witch hunt against him when he was just trying to get creative about his marketing and connect with a younger audience. Instead of jumping through the ASPS hoops, Dr. Salzhauer has pushed his “Jewcan Sam” campaign a bit further. He has started a contest encouraging others to create new videos for the song. The video with the most views on You Tube will win a free rhinoplasty for the video’s creator.
In an interview with ABC, Dr. Salzhauer said, “The song is meant to be funny, not offensive. The singer was able to express in a very tongue-in-cheek way that you shouldn’t base your self-esteem on someone else or go under the knife to get validation from someone else. That never works out. He doesn’t get the girl in the video.”
Personally, I think Dr. Salzhauer’s take on this is very level-headed, and it would be refreshing to hear more plastic surgeons advocate that plastic surgery is not a cure-all for low self-esteem or body image issues. Perhaps the egomaniacs who run the ASPS would be better off taking that stance. It would be a healthier way to promote plastic surgery.
But unfortunately they just don’t get it, as the response from the president of the ASPS clearly demonstrates: “This is just disturbing that a doctor would play into the frailties of the human condition.”
Actually, the doctor was trying to send a message that you should undergo plastic surgery for the right reasons, not to impress a girl you are infatuated with. Somehow, I think the ASPS could benefit from Dr. Salzhauer’s perspective on the human condition.
Sadly, the ASPS holds all the cards in this situation. If they find Dr. Salzhauer guilty of breaching their code of ethics, he can face serious consequences which include:
- Having his benefits put on hold
- Losing his membership in the ASPS
- Losing his board certification
This all seems a bit extreme for producing a light-hearted nose job video. But plastic surgery is a big business, and the ASPS is intent on maintaining their reputation at all costs. I just hope it doesn’t come at the expense of a surgeon who clearly demonstrated that he gets it more than they do.