This one falls into the category of “I can’t believe how utterly stupid this woman is!”
There is a reason why many people spend enormous amounts of money at their plastic surgeon’s office. If you want something done right, you have to pay for it. If you think you can find a way around spending money for quality results, then you are sorely mistaken. Just ask a Minneapolis woman who recently learned this lesson the hard way.
Our protagonist in this bizarre tale, who incidentally wishes to remain anonymous, wanted to make a few cosmetic alterations to her face. She desperately desired fuller lips and smoother skin (her face was riddled with acne scars).
She had received silicone injections from a plastic surgeon about a year and a half ago. While she was very happy with the results, the $2700 bill made her stomach a bit queasy. She was determined to find a better deal this time around.
Rather than go to a board certified plastic surgeon for BOTOX treatments or a collagen filler that would plump up her lips, our protagonist decided that she did not need the skills or experience of an accredited doctor to achieve her results. After all, you are only injecting a liquid into your face. Anyone can do that.
And so she did.
Our protagonist went on the Internet and bought a tube of silicone lube for $10. She then went to her local drug store and purchased a few syringes. She was ready to make her plastic surgery debut.
I doubt that she read the label on the tube of lube very carefully. Had she taken the time to do so, she would have discovered that the company who made the product warned that the lubricant is for external use only. But then again, maybe our brainiac hero read the label and interpreted external use only as meaning, “Fill a syringe with this stuff and shoot it into your face.”
I can only imagine how her pride in saving about $2650 turned to utter disgust when she saw her face in the mirror after giving herself the injections. The pictures on the Internet are utterly hideous. This woman now has pools of lube in her lips and cheekbones. They look puffy, blotchy, and fairly disgusting.
The lube was 100% silicone, and since her previous injections were silicone-based, this brilliant woman just assumed that any old silicone would do the job. Now her disfigurement is 100% permanent, because silicone does not get absorbed by the body.
The woman has recently flown to California to visit a plastic surgeon in a desperate attempt to fix the damage she has done to her face. Most likely, there will be very little he can do for her, and whatever he tries to do will probably cost her much more than the $2700 she would have spent on the original injections.
We have several morals to this story, and they are all somewhat obvious. The first is you get what you pay for. If you really want to improve your appearance, you should spend the money to have a qualified plastic surgeon do the job correctly. Otherwise, you may look much worse after your treatment than you ever did before.
The other moral to this tale is that stupid people should never try to perform plastic surgery procedures on themselves. Most likely, it will not turn out the way you expect it to, and then you will have no one to blame other than yourself and your own utter stupidity.