Have you just gone through a nasty divorce? Feeling a bit scorned by an ex-spouse who doesn’t find you attractive anymore? Well, then you just might be a candidate for “revenge surgery,” a growing trend in society today where people are rushing to get plastic surgery after a divorce. After all, nothing says f–k you to an ex-spouse like a hot new body, bigger boobs, or a younger looking face.
I’m being serious here. Revenge surgery is a real phenomenon, and it is on the rise throughout the country. A recent study found that approximately 26% of people undergoing plastic surgery were recently divorced. In other words, one in four people who go under the knife to make themselves look better are just coming out of a failed marriage. That’s a pretty large percentage.
I suppose the real question is what is the real motivation for revenge surgery? Is it to get back at your ex and make him or her feel jealous that you look better now than when they had you? If so, that‘s pretty petty and speaks to the ugly side of humanity.
But what if the reason for revenge surgery wasn’t revenge at all? What if it were to get a little help boosting your chances once you get back in the dating game? Chances are, if you just got divorced, it’s been years since you’ve gone on a date. You may even have let yourself go a little bit during your marriage. After all, you know you’re getting some at the end of the day. No need to look your best, right? (Note: this is not my opinion, but merely speculation for the sake of a better argument.) If this is the case, then maybe you need a little bit of help landing your next husband or wife.
Obviously, there are some marriages that were just doomed from the start and only lasted a few years, if that long. In these cases, you might still be in your prime years and probably don’t need any cosmetic enhancements to rope in a new stud. If that’s the case for you, then go out there and get ‘em cowgirl.
But many recent divorcees are anywhere from their mid 30s to their late 40s, possibly even their early 50s. There may have even been a few kids in the marriage, which can take its toll on your body, put bags under your eyes, and leave you chock full of gray hairs. Most likely, you may not be on the top of the list of dateable middle age singles. In this case, you may want to kick off cougardom in style with a few nips and tucks. I can see it. I’d laugh at you and call you vain, but I can see it.
According to one plastic surgeon from Houston, the most common revenge surgery procedures for women are:
For men, the procedures are slightly different:
- Face lift
- Neck lift
It appears women are looking to get back that bumping body while men are simply trying not to look too old.
I think more research is needed before we can truly name this phenomenon “revenge surgery.” The writer in me prefers a slightly more colorful moniker – I think we should say that these people are getting “cougarized.”