For several weeks, Maria Elizabeth Chrysson has been a fugitive from the law. This slippery and deceitful 29-year-old, dubbed the “BOTOX® Bandit” by the media, is wanted by Florida police for suspicion of walking out on several BOTOX procedures, leaving the unsuspecting plastic surgeons to foot the bill.
A few days ago, she was apprehended by authorities while eating lunch in a Miami Beach café. Ironically, her primary concern was not that she faced serious jail time for her legal infractions, but that her mug shot would be ugly because she was having a “bad hair day.” She then proceeded to ask the arresting officers if she could check her Facebook page to find out if news of her arrest had reached her friends.
Well, at least she has her priorities straight. I know that checking Facebook would be the first thing on my mind if I got arrested. I might even post my “bad hair day” mug shot as my new profile pic. I’m sure it would make my parents proud.
Chrysson should not be confused with the hordes of women who have committed identity theft to pay for plastic surgery. Unlike these women who drain the bank accounts of unsuspecting victims to fund their plastic surgery services, the BOTOX® Bandit prefers a much simpler and more straightforward approach – she just walks out on the tab.
I know, that is something you’d expect an angry dirt bag to do at a restaurant after receiving poor service, but it is something you would never expect someone to be able to get away with at a plastic surgeon’s office. And amazingly, she’s actually pulled this off on multiple occasions with different doctors.
Surely, you’d think that a person who made it all the way through medical school and obtained a specialization in plastic surgery would be able to institute some policies that would prevent a patient from just walking out. These doctors should be smarter than this, don’t you think? Well, I guess stupid people get medical degrees too.
In her most recent escapade, the BOTOX® Bandit received more than $3,300 worth of BOTOX injections, cheek fillers, and lip fillers at a plastic surgery clinic in Fort Lauderdale. She spent more than two and a half hours in the doctor’s office. Then, when it came time to pay, she told the receptionist that she needed to go to the ATM to get cash. She left her purse as collateral and promised to return in a few minutes with their money. That was the last time they ever saw her.
There was one obvious point that struck me right away – no ATM will EVER let you take out $3,000 at one time. You can’t even make 10 consecutive withdrawals of $300 to reach that total. In an effort to protect their customers from credit card theft, most banks have placed limits on the amount of money you can withdraw from an ATM in any given day. These limits are well below $3,000. Even the dumbest of office receptionists should have realized this and called her bluff before letting her walk out the front door.
In hindsight, the doctor at the Fort Lauderdale clinic said he should have noticed the following red flags while she was still at the office:
- She was very demanding and knew exactly what she wanted
- She received more than 50 injections without a topical anesthetic
- She refused to take a “before” photo, claiming it would violate the terms of her modeling contract
According to the doctor, “I dropped the ball on that one. It will never happen again. Now she was very attractive, but she wasn’t model material.”
Hmm. So the fact that she wasn’t model material should have screamed “BOTOX thief.” Perhaps, but not likely. What it really tells you is that you are shooting BOTOX into a delusional woman’s face. Regardless, I’d still be livid at the idiot employee who believed the BOTOX® Bandit was going to take 3 grand out of an ATM. Hopefully, this employee has recently joined the ranks of the 10%+ that make up our nation’s unemployed.
The BOTOX® Bandit has retained an attorney to help her through this ordeal. If he is smart, he will demand payment in advance. After all, he is defending a woman being charged with walking out on her bill.
Her lawyer has stated that she wants to pay her bills, but she is struggling with financial issues. Are we supposed to feel sorry for her? Are her “financial issues” supposed to excuse her actions? I wonder how my landlord would feel if I told him that I really wanted to pay rent this month, but I was struggling with financial issues so he’d just have let it slide. I wonder if I’d still have a place to live when next month’s rent was due.
There is a silver lining for the BOTOX® Bandit. With all of those injections, her face should be frozen for at least another six months. This way, when she gets anally violated in the prison shower, the other inmates won’t be able to see how much pain she’s truly in.