That’s right. I said it. The breast implant stopped a bullet. And the best thing about this story — it’s a saline implant. A little bag of salt water stopped a speeding bullet. Move over Superman, make way for the Implant of Steel (sort of).
I would think that a silicone implant would have a much better shot at stopping a bullet. You’d think a bullet would just pop the saline implant like a water balloon. But silicone, I can see how a bullet could get stuck in that heavy, gooey gel. I wonder what else these things can stop:
A baseball?
A samurai sword?
A freight train?
A shark attack?
Mike Tyson?
Actually, according to the emergency room doctor who treated the woman, it is uncertain whether or not the bullet actually saved her life. But Scott Reitz, the ballistics expert at the LAPD, seems to think it is pretty likely:
“Common sense would dictate that any time you have something that interrupts the velocity of the projectile, it would benefit the object it was trying to strike.”
Really? A saline implant? You might be wondering how large the implant needs to be to stop a speeding bullet. In this case, it was a D-cup implant. Not too shabby.
The gunshot victim, Lydia Carranza, was shot last summer at work by a coworker’s disgruntled husband. The coworker informed her husband she wanted a divorce, and he apparently went ballistic (pun intended).
He went to the dental office where she worked to confront her. In an angry fit of rage, he shot and killed his wife, shot his brother-in-law in the stomach, and then shot Carranza twice. The first bullet hit her in the arm. She dropped to the ground and played dead, but that didn’t fool our crazy gunman. He walked right up to her, pointed the gun at her chest, and opened fire.
The CT scan clearly indicated that the bullet fragments stopped millimeters from her heart and other vital organs. If those implants slowed the impact of that bullet by even the slightest bit, they most likely saved her life. Lucky for me she didn’t get C-cups. I might not have had such a good topic to write about this week.
Carranza has recovered nicely, although it seems she has been a bit scarred by the ordeal. However, by her own admission, she has been more affected by the fact that she has one deflated breast implant than by the actual shooting. Go figure.
She is currently talking with a plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills who plans on reconstructing her implant, which was blown to pieces by the bullet intended for her heart.
I guess I can add a new benefit to the list I include on all the breast augmentation pages I write: just as good as a bulletproof vest when you get shot. How’s that for a sales pitch?
If you are afraid your crazy husband might shoot you or your coworker in the chest, you might want to move to another state. However, if you are not a fan of uprooting your life just because you married a lunatic, then you have two choices — get a bulletproof vest or get breast augmentation. At least with breast implants, you will look better while you stop the bullet.
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