And you thought crime doesn’t pay.
Julie Coyne, the 39-year-old girlfriend of a British drug dealer, came up with a creative way to make their drug money disappear. She spent it on breast augmentation.
Neighbors had grown suspicious of the couple for awhile after watching her “assets” grow before their eyes. It seemed odd to many of them that Coyne could afford breast implants on her measly welfare benefits, and so they tipped off the police.
British police raided the house she shares with her drug dealer boyfriend and found receipts for thousands of dollars of plastic surgery and teeth whitening. I guess she felt it necessary to have pearly white teeth to go along with her new knockers. They also found wads of cash, a stash of Rolex watches, and expensive boxing memorabilia that included replica championship belts.
Oh, and police also confiscated more than $46,000 of cocaine to go along with the boob job receipts.
Coyne’s boyfriend has been sentenced to serve two and a half years in jail for conspiracy to supply cocaine. In a way, this is a blessing in disguise. At least prison will put a roof over his head. The government has started eviction proceedings for the couple. A judge should decide the fate of their home shortly.
While Coyne’s boyfriend will have a warm place to live and three square meals for the next couple of years, she may not be so lucky. Coyne was only given six months of community service for her role in selling the cocaine. It seems unlikely that she’d be able to afford a new place if she gets evicted. After all, she lived off of the drug money earned by her boyfriend. In this economy, “assistant to drug dealer” on the past experience section of your resume probably won’t get you too many interviews.
The Community Rejoices
The local community is thrilled that Coyne and her boyfriend are being booted from the neighborhood. A great-grandmother living nearby said, “I think the whole thing is disgraceful…If she’s used ill-gotten gains to pay for plastic surgery then that’s just disgusting. It shouldn’t be allowed.”
Another woman had a slightly harsher take on the situation: “If she was going to spend all of that money, I can’t believe she didn’t get a facelift.”
Ouch. I guess years of boozing and blowing lines of cocaine have taken their toll on the 39-year-old. That’s a bit young to look washed up enough to need a facelift.
I suppose the moral of the story here is that if you plan on using your drug money on plastic surgery, you need come up with a better explanation for how you paid for the procedure than welfare benefits. At least claiming to be a Trustafarian would seem a bit more plausible.
