I’d say the title of this blog says it all. Yes, a woman was stupid enough to inject hot beef fat into her face to get rid of some wrinkles. And then she died. Therefore she died of stupidity. I would say my logic is pretty sound on this one, and if the coroner put down a different cause of death, then he’s just wrong.
Janet Hardt was a 63-year-old woman living in Illinois. She boiled beef in her kitchen, drained the fat from the pot into a syringe, and injected it directly into her face in an attempt to perform an at-home plastic surgery procedure. Shortly afterwards, she checked into a local hospital complaining that her face felt like it was burning.
Best Way to Inject Beef Fat into Your Face?
I suppose this begs the question, what is the best way to inject beef fat into your face – hot or cold? If you inject hot beef fat, it will be all liquidy and spread evenly through your face, but you’ll probably experience excruciating pain from burn injuries. If you let the beef fat cool before injecting it, you won’t burn your face. But the fat will probably congeal before being injected, causing your face to become lumpy.
Maybe there’s a middle ground? Tepid beef fat?
Make sure to keep your meat thermometer on hand when you try this. Otherwise your face might look like Joan Rivers when you’re done.
Dog’s Best Friend
Either way, your dog would never leave you alone after that since your face would smell like a scrumptious hunk of meatloaf. Mmm. Meatloaf. Your dog will be licking your face till the end of time. I wonder if incessant dog licking would further improve your complexion. If so, we may be onto a revolutionary new non-surgical skin care treatment for wrinkles. All you need is a hungry dog and some hot beef fat.
I keep getting an image in my mind of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer bastes himself in butter and cooks himself in the sun, turning golden brown like a Thanksgiving turkey.
Add a side of Janet “stroganoff” Hardt to the menu, and we’re starting to put together a meal that only Hannibal Lecter could love.
“Stupid is as Stupid Does”
Poor Janet developed an infection in her mouth and on her lips. But apparently, this was not the official cause of death. The autopsy claims she died of peritonitis, an inflammation in the abdomen’s inner wall.
But I’m still going with death by stupidity.
To those of you who don’t get the theory behind fat transfer, here’s a brief synopsis. You are supposed to use your own fat, not fat oozing out of a cow’s rump. And it is supposed to get purified before it is injected into your body. Think about how nasty the grease looks at the bottom of your frying pan after you cook some ground beef. There’s a reason why people drain the fat and get rid of it. You wouldn’t want to shoot that straight into your face would you? Well, I suppose if your name is Janet Hardt, you actually do.
The irony is that Janet had undergone several legitimate facial plastic surgery procedures in the past. But for some reason, she was still not satisfied with her face, and decided that maybe home injections of hot beef fat would deliver the results a board certified plastic surgeon could not. Like I said, death by stupidity.
