Should breast implants be tax deductable? According to a stripper named Chesty Love, the answer is a resounding yes.
Chesty got breast augmentation in order to improve the size of her tips (among other things). Her procedure left her with massive size 56 FF breasts. On her tax return, Chesty claimed her breast implants as a deduction, arguing they were an investment in her career. It didn’t take the IRS long to get all worked up in a frenzy over this one.
And rightfully so. A tax deduction for your breast implants? That is pushing it a bit. While I admire her creativity in trying to save money on taxes, I have to admit I found myself laughing out loud the first time I heard about this. I mean, she probably only declares about 15% of her tips anyway. She’s already cheating the IRS out of her hard earned money, and now she wants a deduction for her implants? In the eyes of the IRS, this is probably just adding insult to injury.
Let’s just think about the slippery slope she is treading. Pretty soon, porn stars will be trying to write off their labiaplasty as tax deductible. After all, you can’t be the centerfold without a perfectly proportioned vagina. We’re talking about career advancement here folks.
Amazingly, a female Tax Court judge approved the deduction, classifying Chesty’s new breasts as stage props. Hmm. I’ve never heard of breasts being considered stage props before. I generally think of things like chairs and tables as props. But breasts? Really? Props? Inconceivable.
I wonder if our female judge worked her way through law school as an exotic dancer. That may explain her sympathy to Chesty’s plight. Or maybe she just always wanted to dance on a pole with Motley Crue blasting in the background. I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t list that as one of their life aspirations. It is quite the glamorous lifestyle, especially if you look back fondly on the 80s hair band music of your childhood.
Chesty may have won the battle, but she ultimately lost the war. One night, while entertaining drunk, horny men on the stripper pole, she tripped, rupturing one of her implants. The resulting infection forced Chesty to have her breast implants removed. I wonder if she can claim that operation as tax deductible as well.
And now for a few parting thoughts regarding our tax-savvy stripper…
Ain’t karma a bitch. I mean, maybe she’d still have her fancy new knockers if she didn’t try to milk every last cent out of them. But Chesty got greedy, and now her stage prop is nothing more than a puddle of silicone congealing near a stripper pole somewhere in Middle America. Poor Chesty, now she needs a new stage name too. Maybe now we should call her the “Love Explosion.”
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