If you are considering breast augmentation, you had better make sure it will not turn out to be an occupational hazard. WWE diva Mickie James recently learned this the hard way when her breast implant popped during a tag team match against Rosa Mendes and Beth Phoenix.
She is expected to undergo a breast surgery revision procedure very soon in order to correct the problem. There is no official word on how extensive the damage was to Mickie’s implant, and the WWE has not announced when the wrestling champion will be able to return to the ring.
WWE executives have not announced what will happen to Mickie’s Divas title while she recovers from her injury. It would be tragic if she lost her title due to a ruptured breast implant. However, is it really fair to all of the other wrestling divas out there who cannot compete for the coveted title while Mickie gets a silicone refill?
I wonder if there are certain wrestling moves that place a woman at higher risk of popping an implant. I would imagine that leaping from the top rope to land on a fallen opponent could cause problems for both women. If the fallen woman took an elbow to the boob, she could easily leak silicone all over her body, and possibly even the wrestling mat. For the leaping woman, she had better land properly and hope the fallen woman doesn’t roll out of the way; otherwise she may find a squishy implant upon impact.
A piledriver may also prove problematic for well-endowed female combatants. A sloppily-delivered piledriver may result in a knee to the breast, popping an implant or two. How about a suplex? I would think that this move may endanger the fine handiwork of even the best plastic surgeon.
When delivering a clothesline, it is important to keep your arm held up high. A clothesline to the breast region could cause enough carnage to require the replacement of two popped implants. Of course, we can’t forget about the body slam. We wouldn’t want to have to rename that one the booby slam.
Now for some moves that may not endanger a female wrestler’s breast implants:
- The sleeper hold — it steers clear of the midsection. No problems here.
- Figure four leg lock — legs locking with legs. No breasts involved in this one either.
- Clawing out your opponent’s eyes with your fingers — maybe a bit cheap, but the only plastic surgery you will need after this one is blepharoplasty.
- Headlock — needs no witty explanation.
For all of you female professional wrestlers out there considering breast augmentation, I hope you learn from Mickie James. This procedure is not for you — at least, not until you retire. Otherwise, you may find yourself filing a Workers’ Compensation claim to get your implants replaced after they pop from the rigors of the ring. On the bright side, as a female professional wrestler, you probably make enough money to afford multiple breast augmentations.
If you are not a professional wrestler, then breast augmentation may be just the procedure to help you look and feel your best. Contact a board certified plastic surgeon to schedule your initial consultation.
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