Editors note: This blog should be read while listening to Sly and the Family Stone’s “It’s a Family Affair” for maximum impact.
Some families are just so close they feel the need to do everything together. I experienced this firsthand as a teenager when one of my friend’s parents were such a huge part of their kids’ lives that they would always hang out with us whenever we came over. This was awkward enough in high school, but once we got into college it became too much to handle. Something about family time with your friend didn’t seem as appealing as drinking beers at the bar.
But one family in Wales has taken this closeness a step further (alright, maybe about 10 steps further), reaching heights that make me want to vomit. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve ever written about mother/daughter breast augmentation. It’s just the first time I’ve written about it taking place on the same day and performed by the same surgeon.
Recently, a 47-year-old mother of four found an unexpected inspiration to finally pursue her lifelong dream of big breasts. Yes, Geraldine John probably never would have made the plunge until she found out her 23-year-old daughter Katie and 21-year-old daughter Daniella had already booked their appointments. After that, it was game on.
“I was devastated when the girls first booked their ops, because I’ve wanted it done for 30 years. I’ve never had the push to do it,” she told reporters.
I can think of a lot of reasons to be devastated, but your daughters getting breast implants without you seems a bit farfetched to me. I guess Geraldine must live a charmed life if this is her sole cause of devastation.
Of course, having her procedure after her daughters was not an option for Geraldine. It was the same day or bust (pun intended). Lucky for her, the surgeon had a last minute opening on the day her daughters were getting their surgery. Otherwise it would have been a tragedy of epic proportion.
Dipping into Daddy’s Piggy Bank
The two daughters came up with some creative financing for their procedure. In order to reserve their spots on the cutting table, they needed to plunk down a deposit. Unfortunately, Katie and Daniella were a bit short on cash, and the deposit couldn’t be paid through a financing plan. What’s a girl to do?
Raid daddy’s piggy bank.
Katie and Daniella paid the deposit for their breast augmentation with £1 coins. Apparently, all of the pocket change came from their father’s piggy bank. According to the two girls, he was happy to help finance their new breasts.
Something about knowing daddy put up the deposit for his daughter’s breast implants just doesn’t sit right with me. It’s one thing to give your daughters your blessing knowing that they are going to do this whether you like it or not. But to actually help fund such a procedure for your daughters seems to go against everything a father should stand for. I mean, it’s only a small step above paying for your daughter’s labiaplasty, and I can’t imagine any father throwing down cash for that.
What might be equally shocking is that Daddy Warbucks had enough coins in his piggy bank to cover the deposit for two breast augmentation procedures. That’s a lot of chump change to keep around the house. I wonder if he’s got a big pile of cash hidden in his mattress too.
I hope Geraldine and her two daughters have a blast comparing scars and shopping for new bikinis together. Personally, I find the whole scenario to be a bit inappropriate and absurd. But then again, those Brits do love their plastic surgery.
