It seems that sometimes ravishing beauty can be a curse. A 33-year-old model recently learned this the hard way, and she will most likely be spending a long time in an Italian prison as a result.
The model, only identified by her initials MFM, was arrested by Italian police for attempting to smuggle 5.5 pounds of cocaine into the country inside breast implants and buttock implants. The cocaine was valued at approximately $400,000.
She entered Rome’s Fiumicino Airport on a flight from Sao Paolo, Brazil. According to the airport’s police chief, the Sao Paolo-to-Rome flight route is commonly used by drug traffickers. In order to divert police officers from her precious cargo, the model dressed in a sexy outfit that highlighted her plunging neckline. Perhaps that was not the smartest idea considering it drew attention to the very location of the hidden contraband.
“She had tried to distract them (police) with a plunging neckline and tight outfit, but they stopped her for questioning because she was so alluring and her story about why she was in South America just fell apart,” said Antonio Di Greco, police chief at Fiumicino Airport.
At that point, two female police officers on duty took her for additional questioning and discovered the rather large quantity of cocaine hidden in fake breast implants and buttock implants. According to Italian police, very pure cocaine crystals were molded into the implants the model had been wearing.
An Epic Fail
Let’s just skip the discussion about how outrageous of a story this is, because quite honestly, it’s not all that outrageous. This model is certainly not the first person to ever try and smuggle drugs across a border using a silicone implant of some sort, nor will she be the last.
Furthermore, people have gone to much more extreme measures to hide drugs when smuggling them on a plane. For example, five years ago a 24-year-old model was arrested at Catania Airport in Sicily after police discovered she had ingested 98 bags containing approximately 2 pounds of cocaine. In the overall scheme of things, this seems much more hazardous to your health than using fake implants.
Instead, let’s focus on the epic failure of this attempted drug smuggling. It seems to me that a few simple precautions and a little more common sense could have averted this disastrous outcome:
- Wear frumpy clothing – For god sakes woman, dress down, not up! What were you thinking? When smuggling 5.5 pounds of cocaine through an international airport, common sense would seem to dictate that the best plan of attack would be to draw as little attention to yourself as possible. That would entail wearing frumpy clothing that helps you blend into the crowd, not looking model-gorgeous and causing all the Italian police officers to ogle at you and try to find any excuse possible to start a conversation.
- Don’t draw attention to the illegal goods – If you are going to accentuate your plunging neckline and curvaceous booty, don’t hide the drugs in your breasts and butt. Seems pretty obvious to me, but as Ben Stiller pointed out a little over a decade ago, models aren’t known for their brains (just for being really, really, really good looking and knowing what a eugoogoly is).
- Have the implants inserted inside your body – This one is somewhat speculation on my part, but based on the fact that the implants were described as “fake” and the relative ease with which they were commandeered by the authorities, I have to assume that they were simply placed underneath her clothing and not surgically inserted into her body. I would imagine there might be some legal impediments to cutting this woman open and removing breast and buttock implants from her body. It seems like she could have easily gotten through her interrogation if there were no way to physically see the cocaine during a strip search.
- Get your story straight before arriving at the airport – If you are going to smuggle 5.5 pounds of cocaine on an airline flight route that is well-known for its drug trafficking, then make sure you have something believable to tell the authorities during questioning. I’m not sure why she couldn’t come up with a good story. Off the top of my head, I would propose spending a week or two in Sao Paolo on a real vacation before picking up the “package.” That way, you can tell the police all about your great Brazilian vacation and include important details such as the hotel you stayed in, your favorite restaurants, and the great tourist attractions you visited.
Risk vs. Reward
Clearly, our model’s plan as it was executed was not worth the risk, and she is most likely facing a hefty prison sentence for international drug trafficking. But I think anyone with half a brain could’ve recognized this fact even before she went through with the deed.
Fake implants that are just placed in your undergarments (as opposed to your body) do not exactly qualify as a diligent job at hiding the contraband. This crack-pot plan was doomed to fail from the get-go. Regardless of the amount of money she stood to make from the job, it clearly wasn’t worth the risk.
But what if she had gone to a real plastic surgeon and had the cocaine-filled breast implants and buttock implants inserted into her body? This would most likely have made it much easier to pass through customs unscathed, even if she decided to wear clothing that accentuated her new “assets.”
In this situation, she would have required an additional procedure in Italy to remove the cocaine implants (and possibly put in silicone-filled implants if she desired). This introduces the risk of four major surgical procedures (two each in two separate regions of her body). This is clearly risky from a health standpoint. It would also require finding two rather unethical plastic surgeons willing to participate in this smuggling operation – most likely for a hefty fee.
Would this type of procedure be worth the risk? I suppose that would depend on how badly she wanted a boob job and a badonkadonk. I’ve written about plenty of plastic surgery addicts who would jump off a tall building to get this kind of opportunity. Of course, these people are crazy. But then again, they’re not behind bars right now for smuggling a bunch of cocaine into Rome.
It probably goes without saying, but this would most likely be a one time job, since I can’t imagine anyone wanting to go through that much surgery on a regular basis – that is, unless your name is Sheyla Hershey or Sarah Burge (aka the Human Barbie).