Italy is a beautiful country filled with many beautiful people. Unfortunately, their Prime Minister does not seem to qualify as one of them. Over the past month, Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has been embroiled in a scandal which seems to get worse by the minute.
He is already facing a prostitution trial that is set to start this April. Now, he is being accused of paying for equally sinister acts carried out by at least seven women in his inner circle. That’s right, I’m talking about plastic surgery.
According to prosecutors in Milan, several women who “prostituted themselves” at the “bunga bunga” parties held at Berlusconi’s mansion were allegedly given money by the Prime Minister to be used for breast augmentation, buttock augmentation, and lip augmentation. The operations were believed to be carried out by Dr. Giacomo Urtis, a plastic surgeon in Sardinia. While Dr. Urtis has neither confirmed nor denied these allegations, he insists he has never worked on Karima Keyek, the belly dancer who Berlusconi allegedly paid for sex while she was still 17.
Can this PR nightmare get any worse for the Italians and their embattled leader? A sex scandal with a minor, which turned out to be a prostitution scandal, and now a plastic surgery scandal to boot. This man is just up his eyeballs in deviant behavior with women who he clearly objectifies. Not exactly the shining example you want to set for your citizenry.
Although, let’s be honest. Is paying for someone’s plastic surgery really illegal? Un-Prime Ministerly, perhaps. But illegal? I’d hardly say so. Lucky for Berlusconi, he’s the third richest man in Italy. So most likely, he did not have to embezzle federal funds in order to look at some large breasted women at his bunga bunga parties.
I’ll bet his girls ran up quite the plastic surgery tab. After all, they weren’t paying. “C’mon doc. Won’t you make those a little bigger? The Prime Minister really loves D-cups. You don’t want him to be frustrated when it comes time to make a national security decision, do you?”
But here’s what I’m curious about. What in the world is a “bunga bunga” party? I have searched the Internet far and wide, and there really is no explanation given for this term. Some sources claim it may refer to an erotic sex ritual Berlusconi learned from a deplorable Middle East leader currently hogging the headlines (Gadhafi). However, this is speculative at best.
I do like the sound of the term. It has somewhat of a Cro-Magnon feel to it, while at the same time invoking memories of childhood cartoons created by the likes of Hannah Barbara. I’m thinking it may become the title of the next instrumental tune I write for my band, Jababa.
Considering buttock augmentation was one of the offending plastic surgery procedures named in the Berlusconi scandal, I think it may be appropriate to rename the Brazilian Butt Lift. Perhaps it should now be called the Bunga Bunga Butt Lift. I think that has a better ring to it, don’t you? Next time you visit your local plastic surgeon to find out the scoop on crafting that badonkadonk you’ve always wanted, tell him you’re interested in getting a Bunga Bunga Butt Lift. When he gives you a “Whatchoo talkin ‘bout Willis” expression, just tell him you’re hoping to have the kind of butt that only a dirty old Italian politician would love. Now doesn’t that sound sexy?
Bunga bunga notwithstanding, Silvio Berlusconi sounds like a Grade A creep. Although I am wondering, why are we making a big deal about him buying these women plastic surgery? Sure, his wife should be pissed off, but it’s not like he used federal funds to pay for the procedures. The man is a millionaire. Maybe the Italian people will learn, as we did in the late 90s, that there are more important things to criticize your leader about. Maybe they should look at his governing record. That seems to me like a much better place to start.