“I’ll Marry You…Once I Have Enough Plastic Surgery”

As Paul Flack gazed across at his soon-to-be wife on their wedding day last summer, he had a puzzled expression on his face. She bore a vague resemblance to the woman he’d been dating for the past 16 years, but she certainly did not look like the person he had asked to marry him. According to his bride, Jane, she wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Many women dream about having the perfect wedding and often go to great lengths to make sure it is a day to remember. However, Jane felt an impending sense of dread at the thought of getting married. To her, there was no way this day could be perfect — she simply was not attractive enough to walk down the aisle.

As a result, she delayed the inevitable for more than 16 years. Every time Paul would propose, she would tell him no — not because she didn’t love him or want to marry him, but because she couldn’t bear the thought of being an ugly bride.

About three years ago, Jane realized that she couldn’t put off the wedding day much longer. Despite her constant efforts to deflect his overtures, Paul kept popping the question. At this point, she decided to take action. She would travel to the farthest reaches of the globe if necessary to look beautiful on her wedding day. As it turns out, that is precisely what it took.

Over a three year period, Jane travelled almost 17,000 miles, spent approximately $25,000, and endured 10 plastic surgery procedures in a Frankenbride transformation unlike any other. Her plastic surgery addiction became so all-encompassing that it completely trumped her plans for the wedding. In fact, her surgery cost more than $8,000 more than the actual wedding. Talk about priorities.

Let’s try to retrace Jane’s plastic surgery odyssey:

Her first stop took her to Johannesburg, South Africa for a tummy tuck and a breast lift. Jane was so thrilled with the results that she immediately realized she must continue tweaking her body until it met her standards of bridal perfection.

Next, she flew to Belgium for eyelid surgery and laser wrinkle treatment. While she now felt vastly more attractive, she was far from bride-worthy. However, Jane knew she couldn’t turn down another proposal from Paul, and when he asked in February 2008, she finally said yes — on one condition. She refused to set a wedding date until she could have more plastic surgery procedures.

The third stop on Jane’s world tour was Cyprus, where she received a facelift, chemical peel, and liposuction to remove her double chin. Her final stop brought her back to Belgium for multiple liposuction procedures. More than eight liters of fat were sucked out of her body in five different regions. She then returned home to London for BOTOX and teeth whitening. At last, Jane was ready to be a bride.

Jane sums it up this way: “Every bride wants to look her best on her wedding day, but when you’re 45 and a mother of four, you have to work that little bit harder to look your best.”

I’m not so sure I’d say that she worked harder. There was no diet, no massive fitness program to shed some pounds and tone up her body. There were quite a few plastic surgeons who worked very hard to make her look her best, but no work on her part. Let’s give credit where credit is due.

I can understand the desire for some self-beautification procedures on your wedding day — maybe get your hair done, some fancy make-up. But when it takes you 16 years, $25,000, and 10 plastic surgery procedures for you to feel comfortable enough in your own skin to walk down the aisle, it might be time to make an appointment with a therapist.

But who am I to criticize? It’s her money. If she wants to spend it all on wedding day plastic surgery that costs more than the big day itself, it’s her right. I just find it a bit shocking and excessive. If a woman ever tells me she needs to run around the globe for 3 years getting plastic surgery before we can get married, it will be a deal breaker. Too many red flags for me.