If this title sounds a bit familiar to you, it is because it is a follow-up of a post I wrote almost a year ago about a woman named Joan Lloyd, a 66-year-old great grandmother who has reinvented herself in her twilight years by getting breast augmentation to upgrade to a pair of F cups.
As a fair warning, be aware that this story is rather creepy, as are some of the pictures. I have been fighting back the urge to vomit for quite awhile now. But if you can handle the geriatric love story, read on…
Joan has recently found love with a guy 38 years younger than her. She is now dating a 28-year-old named Phil Absolom who has even moved into the house Joan used to share with her recently-deceased husband of 49 years.
Yup, nothing says creepy like a 66-year-old great grandma shacking up with her 28-year-old boy toy and getting it on all night long in the bed she used to share with her dead husband. At least they don’t have to worry about using birth control.
And how did this match made in heaven come about? On Facebook of course.
According to Phil, “I met Jane through Facebook by mistake.” Ok. Not sure how you meet someone on Facebook by mistake, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.
Except here is where the story gets a bit creepier. This guy who is young enough to be Joan’s grandchild began stalking her – checking her out on Facebook and researching her online (if I was able to find out about her a year ago, he probably didn’t have much trouble finding articles about the big breast implant-wielding geriatric either).
So Phil decided to send her a message to say hello, and a burgeoning romance was started. “I had seen people being crude because obviously everyone sees Jane’s busts before her personality,” Phil said. “And then we started talking on the phone and it escalated from there.”
Again, trying to fight back the vomit.
But it wasn’t a foregone conclusion that Phil would rope in his wrinkly, shriveled, big breasted cougar. He had stiff competition. Jane received almost 600 Facebook messages from younger men – some as young as 18 – vying for her affections.
I can’t hold it any longer. There goes my lunch.
For Joan, it was love at first sight. “When I first saw him, when he came to stay with me in the hotel…he came through the lobby and I thought, ‘Oh wow, that’s just for me. You know I am going to have him, he is gorgeous.”
Lucky for our cradle-robbing grandma, Phil likes women with arms and a neck that sag as low as her droopy, surgically-enhanced F cups.
Phil appears very happy and with no regrets about his decision to date woman who was only a few years too young to remember the horse-and-buggy days. “I could be with someone my own age, but unhappy and it could fall apart.”
Way to go Phil. Justify your creepy decision by assuming the worst. But there is another scenario. You could be with someone your age who gets where you are in life and helps you grow as a person. You may even have a normal, healthy relationship with a woman who won’t require you to change her diapers in a few years.
Ok, maybe I’m being a bit harsh, but this situation is undeniably creepy. I wonder how her children and grandchildren feel about this. What do you tell the great grandkids when Joan brings over her boy toy for Christmas dinner? Part of me wishes I could be a fly on the wall for that discussion. The other part of me knows it would just cause me to vomit again.
If you are an older lady living in the Denver, Colorado area and are looking for some gargantuan breast implants to land a 28-year-old stud, please contact Grossman Plastic Surgery today to schedule your initial consultation.
