Breast Implants vs. BMW – Who Will Win?

I recently discovered a video testing the durability of saline and silicone breast implants. This not-so-scientific study was conducted by an Orange County, California plastic surgeon. To determine the difference in durability, each implant was tested against the muscle of the surgeon’s BMW.

First, a saline implant was placed on the road. The surgeon then drove over the implant with his BMW. SPLAT! The saline implant burst like a water balloon under the power of the BMW. Score one for German automotives.

Next, a silicone implant faced the same test. Amazingly, it took a lickin’ and kept on tickin’. It appears that high performance German vehicles are no match for medical grade silicone.

What should we make of this rather middle school-style science experiment? I have a few thoughts on the matter:

• If we were to evaluate these three items along a rock/paper/scissor analogy, silicone is king. It beats both saline and BMW, while BMW only trumps saline. I suppose this makes for a somewhat flawed rock/paper/scissor comparison since there is an uneven distribution of power (one item is clearly the champ, another is clearly the chump, and the third is just mediocre), but it is still fun to juxtapose breast implants and BMWs with a children’s playground game.
• If the plastic surgeon had used a different vehicle, would the results have been different? Would a Ford F150 or Hummer crush both the saline and silicone implants, making it undisputed heavyweight champ of the experiment? Would saline stand its ground against a Volkswagen Bug? If so, it may serve to marginalize a truly iconic vehicle.
• This provides yet another (albeit questionable) justification for choosing silicone over saline. They are clearly more durable when bludgeoned by a car. So if you are hit by one as you walk through an intersection, at least your perky new breast implants will hold up even if you shatter every bone in your body. I’m sure most women will take comfort in the fact that their traumatic car accident injury won’t require a breast augmentation revision procedure.
• This “experiment” leads me to believe that silicone implants may be less likely to explode on a plane – an issue which has plagued several overly zealous breast augmentation patients in the past who have gone just a little too big for their own good.

The other question to ponder is why did silicone slay the mighty BMW while saline got squashed like a fly hitting a windshield? I have two possible explanations for this (the latter of which was proposed by my good friend Dr. Candelaria). I should mention that neither explanation is rooted in scientific, medical, or intellectual data. But then again, neither was this sham of an experiment:

• Perhaps silicone implants contain stronger shells. This seems highly plausible since a stronger shell may reduce the chance of rupture, which is more of a health concern with silicone implants than saline implants. Let’s face it – no one wants a bunch of gooey silicone dripping through their blood stream. It just seems kind of gross.
• Perhaps the outcome is due to the fact that silicone is more compressible than water. As a plastic, silicone can be made to shrink its volume. If you watch the video (linked in the first paragraph of this blog), you will notice that the color of the silicone changes as the BMW rolls over the implant (it goes from clear to white). This color change may indicate that the silicone is compressing and becoming denser.

Of course, while this video is somewhat entertaining, it really does not add anything of value to the saline vs. silicone implant debate. Personally, I think there is a hidden message in the video. I think the real intention is to feed the ego of the plastic surgeon (I know – it’s hard to believe a plastic surgeon would need his ego stroked). It is possible that this is just an excuse for him to show off his BMW while indirectly saying, “Look at me. I’m a high-fallutin’ plastic surgeon who drives a BMW. You should be jealous of my success.” I somehow doubt he would have filmed this video if he drove a Yugo.