And now, for the moment you have all been waiting for – the top 3 blog posts for 2010. In many ways, it was very difficult narrowing down the posts to include in this “best of” series. There were lots of great ones to choose from. I guess I owe all the plastic surgery freaks out there a huge thank you for that. However, when it came time to choose the absolute best of the best, there was no contest – the following 3 blogs were a notch above all the rest.
Drum roll please…
Transsexual Performing Phony Breast Exams in a Bar is Arrested for Impersonating Female Plastic Surgeon
Yes, this one was so juicy I had to split it into two parts. If you aren’t enticed by the title, then I really don’t understand why you’d even bother reading my blog. This is the kind of smut that makes the Cosmetic Surgery Directory Blog what it has become today.
Part 1 goes into great detail regarding the specifics of this quite unusual situation. You should be able to get the gist of what happened from the title – a man living near Boise, Idaho regularly dressed up as a woman and visited the local bars, claiming to be a female plastic surgeon. He would then perform phony breast exams on women who indicated that they were interested in undergoing breast augmentation. Somehow, the gullible drunks in Idaho bought this ruse hook, line, and sinker. However, his deception was a bit too rooted in real life details, such as the fact that he provided these women with the phone number of an actual plastic surgeon in the area. Eventually, the staff at this surgeon’s office got tired of receiving calls directed towards the fictional Dr. Berlyn Aussieahshowna and called the police.
The details of this story make Part 1 well worth the read. Plus, I had a lot of fun playing around with variations of the name “Aussieahshowna” throughout the post. These variations alone make the post worth checking out. Some of my favorites include a reference to The Last Dragon (easily one of the best cheesy B movies to come out of the 80s), The Matrix, and a famous brand of overalls. There are a few other good ones in there too. You’ll just have to read it to find out.
In Part 2, the blog kicks into overdrive. This section contains my commentary about this bizarre situation. It draws parallels between this story and several 80s pop culture powerhouses: Fletch and Cheers. Yes, Fletch was the master of disguise, and he even impersonated a surgeon himself (Dr. RosenRosen/Dr. Rosenpenis). It seemed natural to compare Fletch’s alias-creating skills with that of Dr. Aussieahshowna.
Similarly, the Cheers comparisons were begging to be made. After all, this story takes place in a bar. If you are wondering how Dr. Aussieahsnowna would have fared as a character on the classic sitcom, then you’d best get reading. All the answers lie inside Part 2.
Woman Crushes Watermelon with Torpedo-Sized Breast Implants
The video of this woman’s exploits is contained in the blog post, and if nothing else, you MUST check it out. If you’ve never seen a woman use her oversized breast implants to crush a watermelon, then you are in for a treat.
But beyond the video, this blog happens to pack a considerable punch. The laughs keep on rolling from start to finish. About half way through the blog, it veers off on a tangent where I describe how this event would have transpired under different circumstances. Want to know how Darth Vader would have crushed the watermelon? Or how Don Corleone would have ordered the watermelon’s execution? How would this thing be destroyed in the Matrix? Of course, I saved the best for last. You will without a doubt want to find out how Mr. Miyagi would have trained her to use karate to crush the watermelon.
Implants of Mass Destruction
My sister claims this is the best post in the history of The Cosmetic Surgery Directory Blog, and she may be right. At the very least, it is the best post of 2010. In my opinion (and hers), there is none better.
Beware – do not read Implants of Mass Destruction before you plan on traveling. It will definitely make you think twice about getting on a plane.
It appears that Muslim plastic surgeons trained in London’s most prestigious teaching hospitals have begun using their skills to wreak havoc on the Western world. They have created Boobie Bombers, the newest super weapons to enter the War on Terror.
These Boobie Bombers have been outfitted with explosive devices in their silicone breast implants. Any day now, they may be passing through our airport security checks without raising any red flags. After all, how are we going to be able to detect these bombs when they are constructed out of lethal explosive silicone? It’s not like they’ll set off the metal detectors.
I believe that this post ranks as #1 for the year for several reasons:
- The subject matter is just downright wacky, yet extremely frightening if proven true
- I got to rip on Chuck Norris
- It points out the hypocrisy of Muslim terrorists (Islam’s stance on plastic surgery would never condone this type of action)
- It talks about Boobie Bombers (I just love that name) and harems of virgins sitting next to Allah in heaven – can we get any better than harems of virgins?
- It is funny and interesting all at the same time
I think you get the point. You know you need to read this one. Just do it already.
For those of you who regularly read my plastic surgery blog, I thank you. I’m sure there will be plenty more insanity in the world of plastic surgery to make 2011 equally memorable. And when these wacky events take place, you can be sure that I’ll be here to tear them to shreds on this blog.
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