In my previous post on this subject, I described how in a move of utter idiocy, a woman received black market buttock augmentation from a transgender woman posing as a doctor. This nightmarish procedure involved using a mixture of cement, mineral oil, and flat tire sealant to plump up the woman’s butt instead of the more traditional fat transfer method.
It seems that Oneal Ron Morris, our transgender phony plastic surgeon, has finally been apprehended by authorities.
Police had been looking for Morris for quite some time before apprehending the transgender butt guru at a home in Miami. It seems she deftly avoided the authorities for more than a year by moving from house to house, escaping in her black Mercedes every time she felt the heat in her new hideout (a la Bin Laden, but a bit classier than caves). In true Silence of the Lambs fashion, the police stumbled on her capture by dumb luck. A police sergeant saw the alleged getaway car outside of a house one day and arrested Morris shortly thereafter.
According to police, Morris had been “like a ghost” during her time on the run, deftly evading their pursuits with ninja-like abilities and Jedi mind tricks (“This is not the big butt you are looking for”).
I suppose we must also question the skills of the Miami police department when it took them a year to track down a woman with a butt the size of Texas. Based on her police photos, it’s pretty clear that she injected the cement/mineral oil/flat tire sealant into her own butt as well.
I guess there are a few morals to this story:
- Don’t pay for buttock augmentation from a phony transgender doctor with a butt that is too big to fit on a seat
- If you are truly stupid enough to go through with this kind of black market procedure for $700, don’t act surprised when it takes you years to recover from the issues caused by the hack-job debacle
- When someone tries to inject flat tire sealant and cement into your butt without giving you any kind of anesthesia, there should be only one reaction – run for your life!
- Based on the police photos, Oneal Ron Morris may want to consider breast augmentation so that her top is in proportion with her cement-filled butt.
