Transgender Killer Requests Laser Hair Removal

I’m choosing to write about this story because it covers two subjects I rarely get to comment on: laser hair removal and transgender killers. Clearly, one is more interesting than the other, but since I need some plastic surgery content for this blog post, I suppose I must talk about laser hair removal as well.

Michelle Kosilek, formerly Robert Kosilek, is serving a life sentence in a male prison for the murder of his wife. He has been in prison almost 20 years now. Earlier this decade, he requested a sex-change operation; however, the federal judge hearing the case has not yet ruled whether or not he would agree to let the Massachusetts taxpayers foot the bill for a convicted murderer to get snipped.

As a result, Robert/Michelle has been patiently enduring his gender identity crisis in prison while our legal system decides if he can finally unleash his inner woman. Recently, Kosilek has made another request on our legal system — he would like laser hair removal.

In 2002, a U.S. District Judge ruled that Kosilek would be entitled to certain treatments due to his gender identity disorder. It is uncertain whether the same judge will decide that laser hair removal qualifies as an entitled treatment. He has yet to order taxpayer-funded gender surgery.

Massachusetts prison officials have voiced their opposition to Kosilek’s sex change operation, claiming that it may pose a security risk at the prison. You think? I’ll bet the other rapists and murderers have most likely not seen a woman in years. To them, a transgender who has recently undergone a sex change would be the equivalent of a super model to the outside world. “Bubba, throw away your fifi. We got ourselves a real transsexual.”

I wonder what would happen to Kosilek if he were to actually be granted the sex change operation. Would he get transferred to a woman’s prison? If so, would he be the alpha inmate? (I could think of a more colorful term to describe him/her, but it is not appropriate for this blog — you’ll just have to use your imagination on this one.)

If Kosilek were kept in the male prison, mayhem would most likely ensue. I would imagine he/she would need his/her own cell, for fear that dirty deeds would be committed in the dark of night. Would the prison have to provide Kosilek with his/her own bathroom and shower? Is there even a “ladies room” in a male prison? How much would this operation cost taxpayers so that Kosilek would be safe in a male prison?

There is another way to look at this. He did murder his wife. You could consider any abuse he would take as a full-fledged woman in a male prison to be a healthy dose of karma. Personally, it wouldn’t bother me if he became some inmate’s whipping girl.

Most likely, he will remain a transgender until he dies in prison, unless he can foot the bill for the surgery himself. But for now, he is anxiously awaiting a decision on whether he can get laser hair removal treatment to zap his bikini line.