As the holidays approach, we are all planning on eating far more cookies than is probably good for us. Well, maybe not planning. In truth, we’re planning on eating fewer cookies than last year. But for those of us honest with ourselves, we’re admitting that the truth is we’ll probably eat far more cookies than is good for us. Whether you’re a fan of ginger snaps, sugar cookies, out-of-this-worlds, or just chocolate chip cookies, they’re gonna be around, and you’re gonna eat ’em. And you’re likely to see a few holiday pounds. So, if you had the option, ladies, wouldn’t you rather gain those pounds in your breasts?
A new cookie marketed by a Japanese company under the name of “F-Cup” promises just that. The claim is that eating two cookies a day can lead to as much as a cup size increase in a woman’s breast size, without the need for breast augmentation surgery. How does it work? First of all, the cookies are full of fat, and fat, as we know, is the base substance of breasts, asses, and all the other body contours we want. According to the manufacturer, the trans fats in the cookie will go straight to the breast area. Of course, trans fats are notoriously unhealthy and American cookie-makers have been scrambling to get rid of them. But the secret ingredient in these cookies is the herb Pueraria mirifica, which imitates estrogen’s effects on the body. But does it work?
Anything’s possible. But it seems unlikely. Women whose bodies tend to store fat in the breast area are probably more likely to be shopping for a breast lift or a breast reduction than enlargement, and women who are eating this cookie to enlarge their breasts will probably find the fat continues to go just where it always goes based on their genetic programming, leaving them wanting not only breast augmentation, but liposuction as well. But estrogen can lead to a swelling of the breasts, but with consequences, including an increased risk for blood clots, pulmonary embolisms, and even breast cancer.
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